Senility

This post is not travel blog material, but visiting my grandpa was part of the Hong Kong experience, so here it is! *warning, personal post. not fun stuff*

This was my first time visiting a retirement home. From the commercials you see on TV and the ads in magazines, retirement homes seemed like places of joy and fun. Old people congregate to do aerobics, play chess, and all the fun stuff that old folks do. (whittling? not an asian thing though) However, there are other things less glamorous. A friend who volunteered witnessed tenants being forced to eat quicker than they could manage. A family friend was constantly yelled at by the nurses. A new article told of old folks getting pushed around and abused.

But something that really hit me was walking through the special care unit, where my grandfather resided.
They were well taken care of, thankfully, but the state that these people were in was just downright sad. As I walked through the halls, I peeked into all the rooms. Each room housed 2 people, and usually, both were sleeping, hooked up to all sorts of pipes. My grandfather was no exception.

He had Parkinsons disease, and lost muscle control in many places. The worse was his throat and esophagus. Since he could not swallow, he had to be fed through a tube inserted through the nostril. He gurgled and choked 24/7, because he was unable to cough up the phlegm that had collected.
I walked up to the bed and made my way into his unchanging field of vision. "Hey yehyeh, it's mei yue. Remember how I was here 2 years ago? I'm back." This time, he could not say hi or greet me in any other way. Just a squeeze of my hand, with the minimal strength that he had.

Someone who used to be full of energy, who loved spinning me around in the desk chair, who taught me how to toss a ball, now left as a shell of a man. The worse part, his mind was still in tiptop shape, just his body was failing him. Sometimes I wonder, what if I was in his position? I'd just say "screw it, I'm leaving." Yeah, I know it's morbid, but isn't that the point of the nursing home anyways? What's the chance of someone moving back home? The truth in, you go there, and wait to pass. There was this aura of calm misery in the air as I looked at all the emaciated faces I passed.
The old folk's paradise was just a place filled with impending death and sadness.